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Things left unsaid…continued

A few weeks back, I was working on a post, but due to the fact that I waited until too late to start writing it and was way too tired to read it and edit it, I decided to put it off for another day.  I guess today is that day.


Sometimes in life, no matter how hard you try to avoid confrontation, those situations find you…and today was one of those days. It was nothing too harsh, and I wasn’t a party in it, but it did create a pretty awkward feeling in the room. It felt like most of the people in attendance were in complete agreement with what was being said, even if they themselves didn’t want to say it or think that it was the time or place for it to be said.

In situations like this, I often find myself wanting to hide…hoping for it to end as quickly as possible…but in this case, as it is in lots of others, I knew that as uncomfortable as the situation was, what was being said probably NEEDED to be said, whether or not the other person wanted to hear it.

As I drove home that day, I thought some more about that situation and how it is so often the case that nobody really WANTS to be confrontational, but sometimes, creating a little bit of tension is the only way to really move the discussion forward. The hard part is finding a balance between speaking your mind and not being hurtful or demeaning while doing so.

That delicate balance is especially hard to find when you live in a small, close-knit community like ours. Over the past couple of years, I know I’m not the only one who has had some really strong feelings about the way things have (or have not) been handled around here, in particular where it involves our recovery and rebuilding from the tornadoes.

For the most part, we’ve all kept quiet, preferring to express our feelings to one another face-to-face (or anonymously on Topix!), and the hard questions were not asked when they probably needed to be. While that may have spared some uncomfortable situations and a few hard feelings, has it really benefited our community as a whole? The amount of misinformation and frustration that seems to have spread around this county over the past two-and-a-half years or so would suggest that it has not.

I know that I am as guilty as anyone. I created this forum specifically to give a voice to the people in our community, but finding a way to express my own feelings effectively has proven to be very difficult, especially without seeming overly critical or coming across as a bully. I still have a lot of work to do to refine that process, but I know that not saying anything at all certainly isn’t the best way to move the discussion forward.

I look forward to working through this process and trying to generate some good discussion about issues that we are all concerned about, and I hope that some of you will take the time to comment, whether it is on the actual site or on Facebook when the posts are shared. Together, maybe our voices can be heard.

Facebook has actually given me the idea for the next topic to write about, so that post will be coming before too long. In the meantime, what about those of you who are reading this? What are some of the things YOU’D like to say??

  • kopana

    David, the first step in being a better communicator is admitting that we aren’t great communicators. Move forward and be that strong voice of reason in the room. You have it within you.

  • http://morganminute.com adminDave

    Thank you, Kopana. That means a lot coming from you. I am working on it…I promise. =)